2 years ago I was in the midst of the darkest week of my life. Sadness, grief, and confusion were consuming my every thought. I had learned that my unborn child had a serious and most likely fatal birth defect. And even if she were to survive I would be left with the burden of raising a severely handicapped child. I felt like I had fallen into a terrible nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.
Now here it is, 2 years later, and I still feel like I am asleep. But instead of a nightmare, I am living a beautiful dream. The kind that you never want to end. Elisabeth survived; I survived. And oh what I have learned! About myself, about hydrocephalus, and about children with disabilities.
The truth is that raising a handicapped child is not a burden, but a blessing. The privilege of caring for a child so pure, so innocent, and so untainted by the world brings a daily reminder of the importance and purpose of life.
Do I regret the pain and emotions of 2 years ago? Never. It was an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Having experienced that degree of heartache has made the joy that I feel now so much sweeter. Elisabeth has changed my world, and as I count my daily blessings she is always at the top of the list. I have said it before and I'll say it again....lucky, lucky me.
Now here it is, 2 years later, and I still feel like I am asleep. But instead of a nightmare, I am living a beautiful dream. The kind that you never want to end. Elisabeth survived; I survived. And oh what I have learned! About myself, about hydrocephalus, and about children with disabilities.
The truth is that raising a handicapped child is not a burden, but a blessing. The privilege of caring for a child so pure, so innocent, and so untainted by the world brings a daily reminder of the importance and purpose of life.
Do I regret the pain and emotions of 2 years ago? Never. It was an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Having experienced that degree of heartache has made the joy that I feel now so much sweeter. Elisabeth has changed my world, and as I count my daily blessings she is always at the top of the list. I have said it before and I'll say it again....lucky, lucky me.
{photograph by Lee Ann}
***To read my account of the happenings 2 years ago, click here.
