I wrote many letters to Elisabeth during my pregnancy; from the week I learned I was pregnant, to the day she was born. I thought it appropriate to write her one more on this, her 1st birthday. But first I will share with you just one of those letters from the past.
May 15, 2007
Dearest Elisabeth~
So much has changed since my last letter to you. On April 24th I went in for what I thought would be a routine ultrasound. Well, it wasn't routine. I heard the word hydrocephalus for the 1st time in my life. Now, 3 weeks later I can't imagine not knowing all I now know. They have told me how serious your condition is. I have had 3 ultrasounds. Each time your hydrocephalus has gotten progressively worse. They say that most likely you will not survive all of this. I have cried, worried, and wondered...but now I am at peace with what is happening.
I have faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. If you are meant to be here on Earth with our family, you will make it, no matter what the doctors predict. But I also know that perhaps you have work to do on the other side of the veil. If so, I bid you farewell for now. I am honored to be your mother and to have carried your sweet body and spirit within my womb. We are an eternal family Elisabeth. We have each other forever ~ how wonderful that is! I love you Elisabeth. Regardless of what the future holds, you are my miracle.
Your mother,
Lisa
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September 24th, 2008
Dearest Elisabeth,
One year ago today you entered this world. It was the most miraculous day I have ever experienced. I relive those first moments of your life over and over in my mind. I felt joy beyond measure. You were alive, you were beautiful, you were mine.
As our 3rd daughter you completed our family in a lovely way. I often look at you and wonder how I got so lucky. Of all the mothers in the world, you came to me. A blessing so pure, so innocent, so perfect. I feel honored to have been chosen to be your mother and I promise that I will always care for you, protect you, and be your advocate.
You have taught me many lessons over the past 12 months. Lessons of bravery, persistence, self-confidence, service, and patience to name a few. But the greatest lesson you have taught me is in the simple joys of life. When we take you outside you kick your feet with excitement, and I realize how exhilarating it must be for you. The cool air on your face, the birds chirping, the smell of freshly cut grass. In the modern day in which we live these small moments are often lost, but you have reminded me to slow down and enjoy it all. Sometimes the biggest lessons in life are taught by the smallest people.
This past year has brought emotional highs and lows ~ but each unique experience has helped us grow and learn. And now I look forward to the years that await us. Years of discovery, growth, accomplishment, and love. I will be your eyes and help you navigate your way through life. We will travel this journey together, inseparable as mother and daughter.
Happy 1st Birthday little one.
With devotion,
Lisa