Thursday, March 29, 2012

Carry On



I feel emotional tonight. Like tears might start streaming down my face at any moment. The last time I felt this way was six months ago as I lay in a hospital bed recovering from my spinal fusion. It's not a feeling I get often - usually I have nerves of steel. But right now I feel slightly vulnerable. Perhaps it's because it's the middle of the night. Perhaps it's because I've been laying next to my daughter while she screams in pain. Perhaps it's because I have had doctor after doctor tell me that they don't know what's wrong with her.

It's not easy watching your child suffer. Especially a child like Elisabeth. She doesn't know what is happening or why. I worry that she hears my voice and feels my presence, yet I don't bring her relief from her pain. Does she wonder why I am not helping as she is cries out in agony?

I don't know what today will bring. I don't know how long this will continue. I don't know if or when they will discover the source of her torture. But I do know that we will carry on, because if there is one thing that Elisabeth has taught me...it's to carry on.

So we will.


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