I feel emotional tonight. Like tears might start streaming down my face at any moment. The last time I felt this way was six months ago as I lay in a hospital bed recovering from my spinal fusion. It's not a feeling I get often - usually I have nerves of steel. But right now I feel slightly vulnerable. Perhaps it's because it's the middle of the night. Perhaps it's because I've been laying next to my daughter while she screams in pain. Perhaps it's because I have had doctor after doctor tell me that they don't know what's wrong with her.
It's not easy watching your child suffer. Especially a child like Elisabeth. She doesn't know what is happening or why. I worry that she hears my voice and feels my presence, yet I don't bring her relief from her pain. Does she wonder why I am not helping as she is cries out in agony?
I don't know what today will bring. I don't know how long this will continue. I don't know if or when they will discover the source of her torture. But I do know that we will carry on, because if there is one thing that Elisabeth has taught me...it's to carry on.
So we will.
It's not easy watching your child suffer. Especially a child like Elisabeth. She doesn't know what is happening or why. I worry that she hears my voice and feels my presence, yet I don't bring her relief from her pain. Does she wonder why I am not helping as she is cries out in agony?
I don't know what today will bring. I don't know how long this will continue. I don't know if or when they will discover the source of her torture. But I do know that we will carry on, because if there is one thing that Elisabeth has taught me...it's to carry on.
So we will.
