Friday, April 22, 2011

Thoughts on Life - 4 years later

4 years. It's already been 4 years. 4 years this Sunday, in fact - Easter Sunday.

On April 24, 2007 I learned that Elisabeth, my 3rd daughter, had congenital hydrocephalus. That day will forever be etched into my mind; where I was, what I heard, how I felt. The pain, the real, physical pain - a heart that ached and ached.

I thought [then] that it was the darkest day of my life. And perhaps it was.

But little did I know how beautiful it would be - the privilege to mother a child so precious and pure as her.

If only I could have seen ahead; if I could have had a peek at life as it is now. Perhaps I would have known that my heartache was not necessary. But, then again, even if I had been granted a look into my future, I wouldn't have understood it; I wouldn't have understood how it could be good. I would have seen feeding tubes and wheelchairs. I would have seen a child with crippled legs and a brain with very little comprehension. And to the me that was, it would have been a frightening sight to behold.

But life works out beautifully. Elisabeth came to me like any other newborn - small and innocent and helpless. But the difference between her and other children is that she has stayed innocent and helpless (just not small). And, little by little we have learned more about her; her disabilities, her medical frailties. We have learned about poor vision, and damaged brain tissue; we have learned about seizures - oh, so much about seizures; we have learned how to feed a child who cannot swallow. But it has all been so gradual that we never felt overwhelmed. We were [are] able to come to terms with each challenge, one by one, and for that I am grateful.

Yes, 4 years have passed. I've journeyed from my darkest day to days that are so overflowing with joy that I can't imagine how it could get better - but I'm sure it will, because that's how life is.


[Elisabeth Elva, ready for an afternoon nap.]
Related Posts with Thumbnails